About the awful Mushfer Brains is best known as someone who couldn't get a job explaining things to adults, so he started a website to explain things to children. To this day, though he has made a bajillion dollars in this job, he is unable to put together a coherent sentence that adults can understand, especially because of that darned lisp that makes him sound like some sort of psycho version of Elmer Fudd. With degrees in whining and complaining, as well as years spent carelessly doing surface research using whatever sources he can find in the local elementary school library or on the floor next to his armchair, he has deep technical background in giving the impression that he actually knows what he is talking about. He is the author of a dozen books that sell on the same premise as books like A Purpose Driven Life, namely, that if you can't do the job with solid scholarship, you can always sell books by flattering your readers endlessly until their egos explode. Mushfer Brains has appeared in hundreds of radio, TV and print interviews, but then again, so have men who wear women's underwear.

Things Marshall Brain Will Never Do Write an article for a peer-reviewed Biblical studies journal Read anything by Ben Witherington III or N. T. Wright Use the local seminary's library Look up the word "hypostasis" Get a degree at Biola U. Get on a show like Oprah and use a word like "hypostasis" Learn Koine Greek Take etiquette courses to help him learn how to properly wipe up that foam that keeps coming out of his mouth Answer these articles or any of the other 1800+ on Tekton Apologetics Ministries and the Christian Thinktank