Pagan Origins of the Christ Myth > Pagan Christs

The dying, unresurrectable arguments of Pikachu

Pagan Christs
Was Jesus new? Was Jesus unique? Talking about Mystery Religions in general terms is a distraction.

There's no reason you should hear about them in Sunday School any more than you should hear about Jim Jones. True, mystery religions are an established part of mainstream religious scholarship but that doesn't mean you need to hear about them in church. They're just not relevant, period -- and no responsible religious scholar thinks they are, where the formation of Christianity is concerned.

The mystery religions (if defined broadly) may indeed date from at least 1,500 BC, but for a real overview see here.

The Gods of the Mystery religions had differing names and myths, but by vaguely generalizing, we can claim that the faiths themselves had features in common and pretend it means something:

they were personal religions that brought their faithful closer to God -- of course, if you know a religion that is impersonal and that takes you further away from a deity, please contact us right away

some of their Gods died and came back to life -- actually that's not what happened to some (like Mithra, contrary to Pikachu, who did not die; and Osiris, who remained dead and did not come back to life). But who's keeping track? Pikachu sure won't tell you the truth.

you joined them with an initiation ceremony, which was NOT a baptism that reenacted the God's death and rebirth -- beyond the above about them having such in the first place, the "baptisms" were either done in bull's blood by pouring, or...well, we'll just deal with the specifics elsewhere

and were often described by ancient writers as giving rebirth and salvation -- never mind that "salvation" meant everything from eternal life to getting help out of a jam. That's Pikachu collapsing terminology again.

their Gods have miraculous power to heal illness -- egad, does anyone know of a deity that doesn't have that kind of power? Why is he/she a deity then? Maybe you need to join the Rastafarians.

initiates took food and drink in ceremonies that reenacted a holy meal established by the God -- of course, since every ancient group from religions to firemen's clubs did this, this means about as much as that you and thousands of others are eating Big Macs right now

We'll have to guess what Pikachu means by some of this: Pagan writers wrote about a Pagan Mystery God "incognito, disguised as a man" -- presumably Dionysus, who came "disguised" for retributive reasons; and BTW, Jesus was neither incognito nor disguised; about Pagan Gods dying and being reborn with the meaning that "the God is saved, and we shall have salvation."; about initiation ceremonies described as "a voluntary death"; about sacred meals; ceremonial washing; Pagan miracles -- all of these are vague generalities or universals, best explained not by illicit borrowing but by common metaphorical tradition arrived at independently (water is the "universal solvent" after all) or propriety of method (i.e., a sacred meal was a norm for fellowship, so any religion had to have one) not much more can be said without specifics; the Pagan God who changed water into wine -- see the link of Dionysus on that one; it's post-Christian! -- the Pagan version of the great flood -- just as well a testimony that some sort of universal flood actually happened; see here.

By the way

Pikachu is rather confused in his terminology. He claims that the Mysteries were not separate religions because they "did not worship jealous Gods." That's beside the point. It is also beside the point that you could join more than one; that did not make them not separate; it merely means that they were not mutually exclusive.

That you could sacrifice to Isis (or whoever) at the town's civic festival and also participate in Her mysteries is also not news to anyone.

Count 'em. I also know of one who thinks mystery religions were isolated, eccentric cults, something only a few people knew about. That they were "mainstream" in the ancient world is not news.


The Mysteries brought Salvation The purpose of mystery initiation was indeed "salvation", but as we have already pointed out, one can "save" anything from green stamps to motorcycles, and this will not turn a green stamp into a motorcycle.

Eleusis An epitaph in Numidia declares faith in a immortal salvation, but "immortality" is such a religious constant (and really, is just common sense, spiritually speaking) that any claim of "parallel" is a forced one.

"I, who always lived in a pious body, inhabit, thanks to divine law, the sweet Elysian Fields."

And this is no more of a big deal for paralleling either:

Beautiful indeed is the Mystery given us by the blessed gods: death is for mortals no longer an evil, but a blessing. [Inscription found at Eleusis]

And this one really fudges, since the "divine glory" spoken of is apotheosis at most -- nothing at all like Judeo-Christian resurrection, which these guys held in abhorrence; and in which, the glory was derived from Christ -- i.e., acquired honor, not like this one which was integral:

It was the common belief in Athens that whoever had been taught the Mysteries [at Eleusis] would, when he died, be deemed worthy of divine glory. Hence all were eager for initiation. [Scholiast on Aristophanes The Frogs, 158]

And we'll skip more vague ones to close with a reminder about this inscription in a Mithraeum (temple of Mithras) in Rome read, which is dated after 200 AD:

Enough said. Pikachu is quite the gullible one. Well, one more reminder:

"reborn and created for delights," and "you have saved us by the shedding of eternal blood."

Cybele and Attis: The Festival of Joy -- as noted, is NOT the celebration of Attis' death and rebirth but of his rebirth only, and it is attested no earlier than the third or fourth century.

It is true that a March 22 a pine tree was brought to the sanctuary of Cybele, on it hung the effigy of Attis. Two days of mourning did follow though it is not clear when these were instituted, and on the second day the priests of Attis flagellated themselves.

And the eve of the third day, March 25th, was again not celebrated until hundreds of years after Christ, and as a result of Attis' priests needing to face up to the competition. Nice quote here by Frazer, but the bottom line: Too late.

"For suddenly a light shone in the darkness; the tomb was opened; the God had risen from the dead...[and the priest] softly whispered in their ears the glad tidings of salvation. The resurrection of the God was hailed by his disciples as a promise that they too would issue triumphant from the corruption of the grave." [for more see Frazer, Attis, chapter 1 -- for more up to date material, see Fear and Gasparro]

Good Books for bad Pokemon

The Ancient Mysteries : A Source book
Sacred Texts of the Mystery Religions of the Ancient Mediterranean World
Marvin W. Meyer (Editor)

Who you gonna trust? The ancients. Oh sure, we recommend this book for interested parties, too. But for Pikachu we recommend a coloring book. His immaturity and inability to do credible research is show by this asinine statement: Believing scholars shade the facts in favor of the myth. Non-believers exaggerate and make up facts and connections as a way to attack the church. No, actually, they don't. This is Pikachu showing his confusion and inability to sift sources critically, and not liking the conclusions that work against what he wants to believe; so he just throws out the people with the credentials and assumes that he can just read the texts himself and annouce his opinion.

As a collection of primary documents this is indeed a great collection. It's just not the sort of thing neophytes like Pikachu need to be reading without supervision, for otherwise you'll end up with bungles like thinking a parallel is discovered just because two religions used the word "salvation".

This is a powerful incenctive to do really proficient searching. You'll discover firsthand, right from the pens of the ancients themselves, that Dionysus came to earth "incognito, disguised as a man" for the specific purpose of punishing a tyrant (as opposed to Jesus, who was not incognito, and came to atone for sin)...and the same errors as corrected above. And much more.

Wow. Pikachu sure is incompetent and unaware of it.

An important book that no serious student will be without, but that neophytes should be without. Highly recommended indeed.