Pagan Origins of the Christ Myth > Pagan Christs

Osiris 2,000 BC -- a dead non-savior

Pagan Christs
"But when these souls are set free and migrate to the realm of the invisible.. then this god becomes their leader and king"
[Plutarch, Isis and Osiris, 382- 383]

Was this technique new? Was this argument unique? The use of the above is a classic example of the way Pikachu uses terminology the way a john uses a prostitute. It's an attempt to make Egyptian afterlife belief sound the same as the Judeo-Christian one, but hold on a second before we talk about the Pagan godman Osiris.

Let's take Plutarch's quote a piece at a time and compare the two belief systems in each key term:

"But when these souls are set free..." "Set free" refers to the loosening of the spirit from the body, to which it never returns. In contrast, in the Jewish/Christian tradition, the spirit will return to the body in a resurrection.

"and migrate to the realm of the invisible.." What's "the realm of the invisible"? Plutarch refers to the spiritual which was "invisible" from the world of matter, but in the Judeo-Christian tradition, this realm is not "invisible" though God is.

"then this god becomes their leader and king" Sounds like Jesus? No, Jesus becomes our leader and king when we convert -- not when we die. He's the Christian leader and king now, the head of the Body of Christ.

So what's all this? Just another Pikachu Obnoxious Christ Mess is all. We'll see how much more he equivocates as we proceed.

"Salvation", uh huh.
It looks kind of like a scene at the Ferris Wheel and one of those "you must be this tall to enter" things. But yes, Pikachu is right: It's someone's judgment in the Egyptian Hall of Two Truths, where his heart was put on some scales by the guy with the jackal's head, Anubis. The nasty thing that looks liek a Doberman would eat his heart if it had more bad than good. If there was more good than bad, he got to go before Osiris (Mr. Green Face on the left) for a reward.

But hold on a minute. Pikachu says, "Jesus brought salvation. Osiris brought salvation 1,400 years earlier." Excuse me? This is like saying, "Joe saved. Fred saved 1,400 years earlier" and forgetting to mention that Joe saved bottlecaps while Fred saved green stamps. Pikachu is once again collpasing down everything into a catch-all word ("salvation") and then standing back with a gasp at the wonder of the "similarity". But folks, "salvation" in a Christian sense is not works-based as this one is -- it's in the form of an ancient client-patron relationship in which one contractually agrees to have Jesus act as one's broker before the Father, and has his sin debt paid by Jesus. No one pays for sin in the Egyptian version; it's either your're good, or too bad.

A Date with Isis / Osiris
We don't dispute the ages of Isis and Osiris here. As with the others this is not where Pikachu runs aground.

Nor is there any issue that Osiris "was worshiped in traditional temple worship and in Mysteries that were famous throughout the ancient world..." We don't care. But watch it: That's Horus with Isis in the picture, not Osiris. By the way, we have more on Jesus compared to Osiris AND Horus here.

Differences? Ignore 'em

Pikachu serves up a steaming plate of fudge in his little ditty on "differences". He says "believing scholars like to bring up differences" between Jesus and the earlier Pagan godmen, but excuse me -- it's scholars who are not believers I use as sources. And it's a heck of a lot more than the single examples Pikachu tries to pass off: Attis' faithful hung his likeness on a pine tree, not on a cross, so Jesus can't be Attis. Actually it's way more than that: Attis was actually under the tree in his story; he wasn't hung on it, except as a practical matter so that the scene could be paraded around. He also wasn't executed judicially; he did not die for sin, and so on. Pikachu does well to admit that "Jesus wasn't Attis, and He wasn't Osiris." But he contrives his own forced explanation to save his theory by claiming that Jesus "was a 'new' version of God, built from old ideas." By explaining away "similarities" and "differences" so readily, the theory of borrowing becomes unfalsifiable and worthless. For a more disciplined approach, try here.

The quote: "In the first of these [intercalary] days Osiris was born, and at the hour of his birth a voice issued forth saying, "The Lord of All advances to the light." ....Zeus bade [Pamyles] proclaim with a loud voice that a mighty and beneficent king, Osiris, had been born, for which Cronus entrusted him the child Osiris, which he [Zeus] brought up." -- doesn't seem to have any relevance. It was a commonality of all ancient births, down to the lowest peasant, that a father would announce the birth of a child. It's kind of like sending out "we had a baby" notices today. On the other hand, who knows what Pikachu thinks he's proving here; there was no "voice" at Jesus' birth; he is never called "Lord of All" except in modern hymns; and he never "advanced" to any "light". [Plutarch, Isis and Osiris, 355]

Osiris traveled the world doing good deeds, all right: He brought things like winemaking and agriculture. Not exactly a parallel to Jesus. Plutarch's explanation:

that "...he [Osiris] traveled over the whole Earth civilizing it," refers to his bringing of agriculture and winemaking, as well as giving the Egyptians laws and proper worship. But Jesus did none of these things. So what's the point?

Once again Pikachu fudges terminology: He speaks of a "core of the myth" and reduces vocabulary down to bare bones to achieve a parallel. He says that this god was killed -- however, Osiris was killed by his jealous brother in law, Seth, and dismembered, his pieces scattered everywhere. Seth had a big party, at which he had a coffin brought in and encouraged everyone to lay down for a fit. When Osiris took his turn, Seth nailed the coffin shut and threw it in the river; Osiris suffocated. Isis went looking for the coffin. She found it in Syria, where it had been incorporated into the pillar of a house. She lamented so loudly that some kids in the house died of fright. Later she took it out, opened it up, then went looking for Horus. Meanwhile Seth found the coffin and tore the body in 14 pieces which he threw all over the place. A much bigger fudge is Pikachu saying Osiris was "(eventually) resurrected, after which he becomes immortal and goes into the beyond to be the God of the dead." Not quite. First of all, Osiris was not "resurrected" as the Jewish concept is understood. He did not return in a glorified body; and as a matter of fact, he was already "immortal" before he was "killed". As one scholar put it: "Osiris, in fact, was not a 'dying' god at all but a 'dead' god. He never returned among the living; he was not liberated from the world of the dead, as Tammuz was. On the contrary, Osiris altogether belonged to the world of the dead; it was from there that he bestowed his blessings upon Egypt. He was always depicted as a mummy, a dead king." Osiris' "resurrection" was actually a sort of function of the way the Egyptian gods were, shall we say, being half Frankenstein, half Lego set. There are in fact many stories of the Egyptian gods flinging various body parts around, and to no overall harm, because "divine bodies were thought to be impervious to change" and so his dead body neither rotted nor decomposed as it waited to be put back together. This is how it was with all these Egyptian gods: Seth and Horus have a fight in which they throw dung at each other then steal each others' genitals. Horus' eye is stolen by Seth, but Horus gets it back and gives it to Osiris, who eats it. Horus had a headache, and another deity offers to loan him his head until the headache went away. Resurrection? Give me a break. Pikachu misuses the terms "resurrection" and "reborn" to force a parallel.

So "The Discovery of Osiris" involved no "resurrection" to speak of. Sorry.

"A great shout arises from the company for joy that Osiris is found" -- yep. Found and then left behind by Isis while she goes shopping, maybe. What's up with that?

And the Christian faithful never had a "joyous procession through the streets to celebrate" that Jesus --had been reborn, by the way.

The Mysteries of Isis and Osiris
don't have much relevance here. Pikachu is fudging his terms as usual: Plutarch describes what the mystery ceremonies celebrated: not the death and resurrection of Osiris, but the revivification and regensis. Pikachu just switches the terms around with no concern for meaning.Plutarch explains:

"...the rites celebrated by night agree with the accounts of the dismemberment of Osiris and his revivification and regenesis." Note that this is nothing like resurrection, a concept that the Greeks found abhorrent (see here).

Wow! Pikachu needs to read some up to date history of religions scholarship!

Osiris saves green stamps
Osiris' followers knew their fate after death depended on the morality of the life they lead before death. On the other hand, Jesus' followers know that they are saved by grace, through faith (loyalty) and that morality is a result of their loyalty, not the gauge by which they are saved. Contrary to Pikachu, the ancient Book of the Dead does NOT picture resurrected believers because the Egyptians had no concept of resurrection as the Jews did. They are standing in the presence of Osiris as their judge, though; that much is true, and reflects a religious universal.

When initiates into the mysteries of Isis and Osiris died, their souls traveled to Heaven and Osiris became their king. But when Christians die, Jesus has already been their king since their conversion; so likewise was it said of YHWH over the Jews. There's no parallel here closer than the one to Christianity's parent religion: Judaism. Here's why Plutarch isn't relevant:

"But He Himself is far removed from the earth, uncontaminated and unpolluted and pure....but for the souls of men [on earth]...there is no association with this god except. a dim vision of his presence" -- no parallel here; Plutarch reflects the Greek dichotomy between matter and spirit; the twain never meet, so the Christian ideas of incarnation and resurrection were utterly abhorrent to the likes of Plutarch. See above for a corrective on the rest of this quote. nd note this:

And, quoting Theopompus, "... finally Hades shall pass away; then shall the people be happy, and neither shall they need to have food nor shall they cast any shadow." Note that not "casting a shadow" reflects the Greek disgust for the body. Again, completely contrary to Judeo-Christian belief; here, the nakedness of permanent disembodiness is the ideal state.

It wasn't just Plutarch who wrote about salvation through Isis and Osiris, but no matter how many people wrote about it, you can't force "salvation" to mean what it does in Christian terms. But watch out: The people Pikachu quotes here are late and influenced by Christianity. One of them, Maternus, writes in the fourth century!

"The keys of hell and the guarantee of salvation were in the hands of the goddess, and the initiation ceremony itself a kind of voluntary death and salvation through divine grace." So what's up here? There are no "keys of hell" in Christianity; there is no goddess; "salvation" means something different, and the initiation ceremony of baptism is not "a kind of voluntary death and salvation". So what's Pikachu trying to do? Throw around enough buzzwords to convince the gullible that there's a parallel? [Apuleius, Metamorphosis, Book 11, 21]

And, "Be of good cheer, O initiates, for the god is saved, and we shall have salvation for our woes." Note though that "saved" has a borad connotation, as pointed out above.[Firmicus Maternus, The Error of Pagan Religions, 22.1]

Quoting the Goddess Isis: " I have come with solace and aid. Away then with tears. cease to moan. Send sorrow fleeing. Soon through my providence shall the sun of your salvation rise." Ditto. Just throwing around buzzwords does not achieve a parallel. [Apuleius, Metamorphosis 11.5]

The next time you're with Lurch
ask yourself:"Who does this moron Pikachu think he's fooling by calling such diverse practices by the same general name? Christianity is not a "new religion built with old parts" -- other than what is paralleled in Judaism, the only way to justify such a description is to take the old part, hammer and beat it out of recognition, and then claim that it is the Christian 'version'. What a bunch of snake oil!

Next time you're in church... When they get to the part about Jesus dying and being resurrected, remember the great pagan festival of the Discovery of Osiris is nothing like it. You'll know Pikachu is dishonestly and crudely warping terminology -- in a culture where a know-nothing like him thinks that plopping down a few books actually makes you an expert. We'll give you some better reading to do.

Uhhhhhhhh!

Baptism and Eucharist, my fanny Pikachu tries to wrench a "baptism" and "eucharist" out of initiates bathing and being sprinkled with water from the Nile. Aside from that all evidence of this practice is post-Christian, there's a far closer parallel from the ritual immersions of the Qumranites, and the "sprinkling" of blood in the OT, as well as Ezekiel 36:25: Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you. By the way, though, sprinkling as a mode of baptism wasn't typical until later in Christian history.

What the initiation meant was written about, but as noted above, Pickachu is merely equivocating on the meanings of death, rebirth and salvation in context.

Christianity does not have a " voluntary death" [voluntariae mortis] and the metaphor of a "sacred birth" [natalem sacrorum] is a religious metaphorical universal.

Unlike the Osiris mysteries, the ceremony did not end two days later with a sacramental meal. Sacramental meals were a social function of everything from mystery religions to fireman's clubs; the Christian version was held by the body as often as desired.

"I approached the frontiers of death and, having walked on the threshold of Proserpine [the home of the dead], I returned." Sounds like necromancy; what's the point? It doesn't sound anything like Christian/Jewish resurrection. See above for the other two quotes.

The next time you're with Lurch
ask yourself:"What's this guy babbling about now? The word "saved" can mean anything from bottlecaps to green stamps to rescue from a fire. Pikachu must think we're a bunch of ignorant suckers out here."

Next time you're in church... When they get to the part about water baptism bringing salvation and a new life with God, run like heck because you're in some cult. In Christianity baptism is a pledge publicly affirming that you have already been saved. When they get to the part about Holy Communion, remember the Mysteries of Isis / Osiris were just one of thousands of such sacramental meals observed by ancient groups, religious or not, in the ancient world. Food is fellowship; it always has been. You'll know you're hearing about stuff that Christianity is nothing like -- in a culture where gullible Pokemen spread nonsense after reading just a few books.

Uhhhhhhhh!

Better Books than the ones Pikachu rubbed on his head

Daily Life of the Egyptian Gods
by Dimitri Meeks

This is pretty easy to read. And fun. You'll discover "how Pikachu serves the fudge in calling the dismemberment of Osiris and his revivification and regenesis" a death and resurrection! Try Lego blocks as an analogy instead.

Wow. A real education, not just Pikachu thumbing through Plutarch and announcing his opinion.

Be careful, you might actually learn something.