"...Our soul is immortal, and has judges, and pays the utmost
penalties whenever a man is rid of the body. Like there'd be any alternative.
Duh."
[Play-doh, 1st letter, 125a]

Was Christianity new?  Was christianity unique?  Frankly, Pikachu's page on "eternal life" is probably his most ridiculous.

Really. Pikachu thinks you're so dumb, that he bet[s] you didn't realize how old and widespread was the idea of immortal life. It was old. It was universal. Well, DUH.

Let's make this simple. There are only three possible alternatives: Either there is NO afterlife; or you have an ETERNAL afterlife; or it stops somewhere in between. The first option wasn't going to be popular until atheism made it popular. Thus it would be expected to be rare, if it popped up at all, before atheism was a major force. (The Bacchans may have believed it.) The third option doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense. That leaves #2. DUH. Who wouldn't come up with it? What culture would NOT have such a view? Please, Pikachu -- don't "bet" at Las Vegas, you'll end up walking out of the casino naked.

So all of Pikachu's rambling about belief in life after death in pre-Columbian Nicaragua, in the Tongas islands of the Pacific, and the old cultures of Greenland and New Guinea, is just a bunch of mulluguthering that deserves a "so what" in giant neon letters. Until atheism in modern times (or else, some view that made other persons into animals, less than human) there just wasn't any ideological alternative.

Christians believe in eternal life -- who with any logical sense wouldn't!

Sound familiar? Not to anyone who goes to a Christian church. The worms part comes closest; it's from OT imagery, though (Is. 66:24) and it is that which Jesus borrowed from (Mark 9:44-8). Of course since it reflects what actually happens to a corpse (prior to modern funereal procedures) it's hardly any sort of news. There's no parallel for lazing on a couch except in cartoons, which may be where Pikachu gets all his Christian theology from. "Pure water" in Christian theology is drunk during this life (John 4:14, 6:35). Jesus did not descend into the underworld despite later developments; and so of course he brought no one back. In Christian theology demons do not punish anyone except in medieval and Renassance art.

By the way, silly person

Pikachu thinks that just because the Jews lost a war with the Babylonians in 586 BC, and were taken as captives back to Babylon, where they lived for generations, this is some k9ind of evidence that they stole myths from Babylon. Stupid idea. Detailed research shows that the Jewish versions are independent of, not dependent on, the Babylonian versions:

Yes, Babylon's creation myth begins with a watery waste and an abyss that the great God Marduk gives shape and order. But it is the name of that watery chaos (Tiamat -- the goddess) that gives away the store. Linguistically the Hebrew word for it (tehom) cannpot be derived from Tiamat. All of this and more is documented by Alexander Heidel in his premier work, The Babylonian Genesis. See the big differences for yourself.

The myth of the first man, named Adamu? Well gosh. There'd have to be a first man for there to be any man at all, wouldn't there? But see the same article for even more significant differences showing that the Babylonian version has Babylonian "touches" that could not have preceded the Jewish version (mainly, the "image" language applied to all men).

Pikachu says: Utnapistrum (often called the "Babylonian Noah") built an arc [sic], collected animals, and saved the world from a great flood. Sounds like evidence that such a flood actually happened, since they (and lots more cultures) know a similar story. But wait: Utney sure sounds like a Babylonian, because he also brings on board treasures and artisans, and his ship is not a real barge shape but is built like a Borg cube. In other words, signs of being later than what the Jewish story represents.

Last Pikachu notes the story of Sargon of Akkad, born of a priestess mother, who was placed in a basket of bulrushes and pitch and left floating on the river Euphrates, where he was found and raised as a gardener, before becoming King. But sorry -- the scholarship is against him there, too.

....Boy, does Pikachu digress. He digressed a long time ago, actually.

Persia Not even the Persians were goofy enough to reject such a basic idea. But even they believed in being judged according to deeds, words and thoughts in life, which is still a mile away from salvation by faith. No surprise, the good passed over the bridge safely and into paradise (no, not Burger King, or the opera house) while the bad were dragged down to hell (no, not a George Carlin concert, though it would be close).

Christians believe in eternal life -- have you got any better ideas?

Mystery Religions of Greece and the Hellenized Mediterranean -- think they defied the logic? Nah.

The hope they gave of a better life after death just makes sense, dudes. It's what anyone with sense would want. It's a natural hypothesis. But there's still no mirror image here:

It was the common belief in Athens that whoever had been taught the Mysteries would, when he died, be deemed worthy of divine glory. Hence all were eager for initiation.
[Scholiast on Aristophanes The Frogs, 158] Wow. Pikachu thinks if he highlights "died" and "divine glory" he can slap his forehead and be amazed at a parallel. Last I checked though, the mortality rate by death was 100%. As for divine glory: What this means here is apotheosis -- a "divine glory" miles away from Judeo-Christian resurrection, because the Greeks rejected the body as disgusting and unworthy to be rased. Quite a parallel -- RIGHT! There's really no need to take any closer look at the rest of the quotes Pikachu spews out here -- they're all the same logical outgrowth: Good and bad, and life goes on. There just wasn't any logical alternative; as if the good would get sent to Hell and the bad to Paradise. I mean, good grief!