The Skeptics' Overrated Bible on Mark

as analyzed by Sheila Rangslinger

Many of SAB's complaints here -- differences in verbiage (due to oral tradition) and order of storytelling -- are of the sort we address in this series involving Harmonization. Cites so made will merely be referenced with a HICA.

1:11 In this gospel, Jesus is addressed directly by God saying, "Thou art my beloved son." While in Matthew (3:17), God addresses those witnessing the baptism of Jesus. ("This is my beloved son.") HICA.
1:2 Mark claims that John the Baptist fulfilled the prophecy given in Malachi (3:1, 4:1, 5). But the Malachi prophecy says that God will send Elijah before "the great and dreadful day of the LORD" in which the world will be consumed by fire. The "day of the Lord" was 70 AD. See here. Yet John the Baptist flatly denied that he was Elijah (Elias) in John 1:21 and the earth was not destroyed after John's appearance. SAB doesn't grab ancient Jewish apocalyptic language well. For the other see here.
1:12-13 Mark says that Jesus went "immediately" into the wilderness after his baptism where he was tempted by Satan for forty days. But the gospel of John (1:35, 43; 2:1) denies this by describing the call of disciples and the wedding at Cana, which he says took place on the days immediately following his baptism. SAB is confused as John does not narrate Jesus' baptism.
1:14-16 In Mark, John the Baptist is imprisoned before Peter and Andrew are called. But the order is reversed in John (1:40, 3:22-24). HICA. See especially sub-article on arrangement principles.
1:23-24 "Unclean spirits" confess that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. If 1 Jn.4:2 is true, then these "unclean spirits" are of God. See here.
1:25 Jesus rebukes the "unclean spirit" for saying that Jesus is "the holy one of God." Yes, for drawing attention to Jesus that would have caused offense as an excessive claim to honor. This is part of the social puzzle that SAB doesn't have a clue about.
1:30 Peter, who Catholics consider the first pope, was married. That's nice. We could not care less.
1:32, 34 Jesus casts out more devils and tells them not to reveal who he is. See above.
2:25-26 Was David alone when he asked for the holy bread at Nob? See here.
2:26 Jesus said the high priest's name was Abiathar, but 1 Sam.21:1 says the high priest was Ahimelech. See here.
3:11 More "unclean spirits" confess that Jesus is "the son of God." 1 Jn.4:2 says that all such spirits are of God. See above.
3:11-12 Although the disciples weren't sure about Jesus even after his alleged resurrection, the "unclean spirits" knew that he was "the son of God." But Jesus told them not to tell anyone. See above, yet again.
3:15 Jesus gives his apostles the power to heal sickness and "cast out devils." And the problem is, what, other than SAB's anti-supernatural bias, presumed, not argued?
3:18 Mark says that Thaddeus was one of the twelve apostles, but his name is not included in the lists given in Luke (6:14-16) or Acts (1:13), which list Judas the brother of James instead. See here.
3:21 Jesus' friends think he is insane. No more so than when we tell someone, "You're crazy!" See here for related issue.
3:22 The scribes think that Jesus casts out devils by the power of the prince of devils, Beelzebub. And, so what?
3:29 Jesus becomes angry at those who said that he had "an unclean spirit," so he announces the unforgivable sin: "blasphemy against the Holy Ghost." Again, so what? as if the problem is evident by mere statement?
3:31-34 Jesus shows disrespect for his mother and family by asking, "Who is my mother, or my brethren?" when he is told that his family wants to speak with him. See here.
4:11-12 Jesus explains why he speaks in parables: to confuse people so they will go to hell. Wrong answer. See here and here as well.
4:25 Jesus says that those who have been less fortunate in this life will have it even worse in the life to come. The passage has nothing to do with "fortune" but with knowledge and active seeking after it; see above.
4:31 Jesus is incorrect when he says that the mustard seed is the smallest seed. SAB is incorrect when he thinks size is what is at issue.
5:2 Mark says there was only one Gadarene demoniac, but Matthew (8:28) says there were two. HICA, see especially item here.
5:7 A man possessed with "an unclean spirit" recognizes Jesus as the son of God. According to 1 Jn.4:2, 15, this man must have been "of God." See above for the 176th time.
5:12-13 Jesus sends the devils into 2000 pigs, causing them to jump off a cliff and be drowned in the sea. When the people hear about it, they beg Jesus to leave. And the problem is, what? Is SAB a vegetarian yet?
5:23 Mark says that Jarius' daughter is dying when Jesus is approached, but Matthew (9:18) says that she is already dead. See here.
5:39-42 Jesus raises Jarius' daughter from the dead, contrary to many bible verses that deny the existence of an afterlife. See here.
6:2-5 Jesus is rejected by those who knew him the best, the people from his home town of Nazareth. "And he could do there no mighty work." If so, then how could he be omnipotent as he claims to be in Mt.28:18? See here.
6:8-9 Jesus tells his disciples to wear sandals and carry a staff. But in Matthew (10:10) he tells them to go barefoot and not carry staves. See here.
6:11 Any city that doesn't "receive" the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. And the problem is, what? It's just argument by outrage.
6:14-15 There was much disagreement and confusion about Jesus' identity. Some thought he was Elijah or one of the prophets. And some (like Herod in this verse) thought he was the risen John the Baptist, even though John had just recently died and the people must have known what he looked like. And so, what? Does SAB want us to answer for common gossip?
7:9-13 Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as required by Old Testament law. (See Ex.21:15, Lev.20:9, Dt.21:18-21) Um, more like he criticizes them for not honoring their parents...hello? Where'd that exegesis come from?
7:22 Jesus talks about the "evil eye." In the figurative language of the day a "good eye" was an "eye that looked on others generously (Sirach 32:8) while an "evil eye" was one that was jealous or stingy -- Keener, Matthew commentary, 232. This is the kind of relevant cultural/idiomatic study Skeptics like SAB will never do.
7:24, 31 Ezekiel (26:14, 21, 27:36) prophesied that Tyre would be completely destroyed, never to be built again. But it wasn't destroyed and continued to exist, as shown by this verse in which Jesus visits Tyre. See here.
7:25-29 Jesus initially refuses to cast out a devil from a Syrophoenician woman's daughter, calling the woman a "dog". After much pleading, he finally agrees to cast out the devil. See here.
7:33 Jesus puts his fingers in a deaf man's ears, then spits and touches the deaf man's tongue. So what? Other than anti-miracle bias, this was the way healers did their business in the ancient world.
8:4 The disciples ought to know by now where they can get enough food to feed a few thousand. After all, Jesus had just done it before (6:34-44). This "doublet" was probably the result of two oral traditions of the same event. More like, the oral tradition caused one to be patterned after the other from two or more actual historical events. Oral tradition in the ancient world was sorry, not that free and easy. It could also be a case of literary imitation of the sort that was often practiced.
8:12 Jesus says he will not give any signs, but the gospel of John (3:2, 20:30) and Acts (2:22) say that he performed many. See here.
8:23 Jesus spits on a blind man's eyes. Why don't televangelists spit on people when healing them? Because unlike today, the ancients considered the spittle of holy men to have power. Jesus was using a paradigm of the day in his action.
8:27-28 There were various opinions about the identity of Jesus. Some thought he was Elijah or one of the prophets. And many thought he was a risen John the Baptist. With credulity like that just about anyone could later be passed off as the risen Christ. "Credulity"? Of what? This was popular speculation, not someone claiming that an actual resurrection had been taking place. The source was not exterior; John's disciples were not the source, and they did not preach it in coordination with a message. SAB can bang his head here.
8:31 Jesus explains to his disciples about his death and resurrection. Yet the gospel of John (20:8-9) claims that the disciples "knew not ... that he must rise again from the dead." See here.
9:1 Jesus falsely prophesies that the end of the world will come within his listeners' lifetimes. See here.
9:2 Mark says the transfiguration occurred six days after Jesus' false prophecy, but Luke (9:28) says it was eight days after. See here.
9:13 Jesus says that John the Baptist was Elijah, but John the Baptist explicitly denies it in Jn.1:21. See above.
9:17, 25 Jesus heals a boy with "a dumb spirit" by saying, "Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him and enter no more into him." (Sounds like a script from Monty Python, doesn't it?) Sounds more like a rally call for a Ku Klux Klan rally. But how could a deaf spirit hear the words spoken to it? And how could a dumb spirit cry out? See here.
9:19 Jesus gets mad at his disciples for failing to cast out a devil and says, "O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? And the problem is, what? No explanation is given.
9:38 The disciples saw some others that they didn't know "casting out devils" in Jesus' name. (It was a popular sport back in those days.) As bigotry is today among Skeptics.
9:40 Jesus says that those who are not against him are for him. But elswhere he says that those who are not for him are against him. See here.
9:43-49 Jesus tells us to cut off our hands and feet, and pluck out our eyes to avoid going to hell. SAB still needs lessons in hyperbole among the ancients. See here.
10:11 In this verse Jesus condemns all divorces, but exceptions are made in in other verses. See here.
10:15 Jesus says that one must have a childish faith in order to be saved. But poor Paul in 1 Cor.13:11 says that he "put away childish things" and by so doing, if the words of Jesus are true, made his salvation impossible. Poor SAB fails to differentiate between coming as a child and remaining as one.
10:18 Jesus says that no one is good except for God. He also seems to be saying he is neither good nor God. See here.
10:19 When Jesus lists the "ten" commandments, he only mentions five -- the humanistic ones that make no mention of God. He also gives one that is not included in the so-called ten commandments: "defraud not." Just where he got this one is anyone's guess. See here for scholarship that SAB can't "guess" about.
10:25 Jesus says that rich people cannot go to heaven. For "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. Oh. "Easier" is the same as "don't go"? How about a lesson in ancient hyperbole? Or this.
10:29-30 Jesus will reward men who abandon their wives and families. For the sake of eternal life for others? Nah, wouldn't want to do that...
10:34 Jesus explains again (see 8:31) to his disciples about his death and resurrection. Yet John (20:9) claims that the disciples "knew not ... that he must rise again from the dead." See above.
10:46 Were one or two blind men healed near Jericho? Mark and Luke (18:35) say there was only one, but Matthew (20:30) says there were two. HICA.
11:7 Matthew (21:7) says that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on both and ass and a colt, John 12:14 says the rode on an ass, but Mark and Luke (19:35) say he rode on a colt. Which is was it? See here, and SAB doesn't know that a colt is a young donkey.
11:13-14 Jesus kills a fig tree for not bearing figs, even though it was out of season. See here.
11:20 The fig tree immediately dies in Matthew (21:19-20), but it doesn't die until morning in Mark's account. Also, the curse is worded differently in the two gospels. HICA plus above.
11:23-24 If you do "not doubt in your heart" you can cast a mountain into the sea (or kill a fig tree, or whatever). See here.
12:29, 32 How many gods are there? See here.
12:31 Jesus quotes Lev.19:18: "Love thy neighbor as thyself." This is by far the best verse in Leviticus, and one of the best in the entire bible. But in the next chapter of Leviticus, God orders us to kill wizards (20:6), children who are disrespectful toward their parents (20:9), adulterers (20:10), and homosexuals (20:13). And throughout the Old Testament, God encourages the Israelites to kill their neighbors every chance they get. (See Numbers 31 and 1 Samuel 15 for just two of many examples.) Too bad SAB thinks love means mushy sentimentality exclusive of justice. Meanwhile it's just argument by outrage.
12:35-37 Jesus denies being a descendent of David. But this contradicts many Bible verses. He denies it? How? I have yet to see this exegeted by any Skeptic.
13:17 In the last days God will make things especially rough on pregnant women. More like, it is predicted that it will be.
13:24-25 "In those days ... the moon shall not give her light, and the stars of heaven shall fall." Of course this is nonsense. The billions of stars will never fall to earth and the moon does not produce its own light. Of course SAB is ignorant of apocalyptic language. See here.
13:26 Will Jesus' second coming be visible to all? Ditto.
13:30 Jesus shows that he is a false prophet by predicting his return and the end of the world within the lifetime of his listeners. Ditto.
13:31 Jesus says that heaven won't last forever; and neither will the earth, contrary to other bible passages. See here -- actually though it's more like saying, "Pigs will fly, but..."
13:32 [Lost material] -- like when the end of the world will come. See above plus here.
14:7 In Matthew (28:20), Jesus says he will always be with his disciples, but he says the opposite in this verse. See here.
14:22-24 Jesus tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood. Sure, and that's what the bread mentioned was made of, and what was in the cup. And SAB is a pathological literalist with a modernist aversion to blood. See here.
14:30 Did Jesus say "before the cock crow twice" as this verse says, or once as is said in the other gospels? (Mt.26:34, Lk.22:34, Jn.13:38) See here.
14:51-52 One of the followers of Jesus was a young, nearly naked man who dropped his linen cloth and "fled from them naked" when the priests came to arrest Jesus. And, what? Does SAB want a picture to ogle?
14:57-58 Mark says that those who quoted Jesus were "false witnesses," yet according to Jn.2:19, Jesus said what these witnesses said that he did. So how are they "false witnesses"? These are episodes years apart, folks!
14:62 Jesus, when asked by the high priest if he is the Christ, answers "I am" in this gospel. But in Matthew (26:64) he equivocates by saying, "Thou hast said it." In both gospels he falsely prophesies that the high priest would see his second coming. See above on 2nd coming, and it isn't equivocation at all -- see here.
14:66-72 To whom did Peter deny knowing Jesus? HICA.
15:17 What color was Jesus' robe? See here.
15:21 In the gospel of John, Jesus is said to have carried his own cross (19:17). But in this verse Simon the Cyrenian carried the cross for Jesus. See here.
15:23 Mark says the soldiers gave Jesus wine mixed with myrrh to drink. But Matthew (27:34) says they gave him vinegar mingled with gall. See here.
15:25 Mark says it was "the third hour" when Jesus was crucified. But John (19:14-15) says it was some time after "the sixth hour." See here.
15:26 All of the gospels give the exact words that were written over the cross, but none of them agree about the words that were used (Mt.27:37, Lk.23:38, Jn.19:19). HICA.
15:32 Mark says that both thieves reviled Jesus, but Luke (23:39-40) says that only one reviled him, and the other rebuked him for it. HICA.
15:39 What did the centurion call Jesus when he died? HICA.
15:40 Were the women looking from far away as this verse says, or from the foot of the cross as is said in John (19:25)? HICA.
15:44 "And Pilate marveled if he were already dead." Maybe he wasn't! SAB shames himself with endorsement of such a goofy idea. See here.
16:1 Mark says that two women visited the sepulchre on Easter morning. But all of the other gospels disagree (Mt.28:1, Lk.24:10, Jn.20:1). See here.
16:2 Mark says that the women came at sunrise, but John (20:1) says they came with it "was yet dark." Ditto.
16:5 The visitors saw a young man in Mark, but none of the other gospels agree (Mt.28:2, Lk.24:3-4, Jn.20:11-12). SAB is unaware that angels could be referred to as "young men" as in Josephus.
16:5 was the man (men, angel, or angels) inside or outside of the tomb? Mark, Luke (24:3-4), and John (20:11-12) says inside, but Matthew (28:2) says outside. See above.
16:7 The "young man" told the woman to tell the disciples to meet Jesus in Galilee. But in Acts (1:4) and Luke (24:48) they are told to stay in Jerusalem. Ditto.
16:8 The women were afraid and told no one after seeing the young man. But Luke (24:10) and Matthew (28:8), saying that the women "told all these things to the eleven." Ditto.
SAB can dry up on Mark 16:9-20 because of this.