Nahum

• 1:2 God is jealous See here, gets furious (contrary to Is.27:4 in which God says, "Fury is not in me"), see here and takes "vengeance on his adversaries who of course were just sitting around playing backgammon when God barged in.
• 1:5 The mountains quake, the hills melt, and the earth burns -- all because of God. Apocalyptic war talk that was typical for the ANE, but again, SAB has proven that everyone was just knitting when all this happened.
• 1:7This says God is good to those in need, but elsewhere, the Bible says otherwise. SAB sets verses of lament against verses like this that say God is always there to save. Like most all before him SAB doesn't get the properties of extreme language used variously in lamenting and praising contexts. No Hebrew hymn would ever say, "Praise God who is near when it is His will!"
• 1:12, 15Despite what God says, Judah does indeed fall prey to the armies of the "wicked" again: Babylonians invade in a few decades. I don't see where SAB gets the "armies" from -- it just says "wicked" and the previous verse refers to idolatry, and none of this is said to be permanent unless we once again overliteralize ancient war "trash talk".
• 2:7Huzzab was an Assyrian fertility god. Yet another example of the Bible's religious intolerance. Sure, we need to tolerate the 200 Foot Hoohoo god. I'm sure SAB believes the Santerians or whoever should be allowed to sacrifice his dog, and that we should show tolerance for the Aztecs who ripped hearts out. Right?
• 2:10 There is "much pain in all loins." Not sure what the point is, but SAB apparently thinks it is funny. Hey, he made you say "underwear"!
• 2:13 SAB finds ancient "trash talk" of war funny for some reason.
• 3:3"There is a multitude of slain, and a great number of carcasses; and there is none end of their corpses; they stumble upon their corpses." Now that's a lot of dead people. And they were all just sitting around doing nothing. Mere argument by outrage.
• 3:4-6 God will "discover thy skirts upon thy face, ... show the nations thy nakedness" and "will cast abominable filth upon thee." And SAB will be a prude about it. See here.
• 3:10No's, or Thebes', children "were dashed into pieces." Yes, they were. And it was normal ancient war pratice. The problem is, what?
• 3:13 In the middle of his threats and insults God says, "Behold, thy people in the midst of thee are women." I guess this ("You're all just a bunch of women.") was the biggest insult God could think of at the moment. See link two points above. This was normal riposte in the ancient world, and given the tendency of groups to not only admit but enact stereotypes in this time, this is an insult that even women of that day would have thrown.
• 3:15 God says that "the fire shall devour thee, the sword shall cut thee off, it shall eat thee up like the cankerworm." And it will all be for no reason. Mere argument by outrage (see above link).
• 3:19Applause at the defeat of your enemy? It may seem justified here, but what of "Love your enemies?" This verse seems to conflict withMatthew 5:44 and Luke 6:35. That's because SAB is contextually ignorant. See here.

Habakkuk highlights

• 1:2 God does not help those in need. See Nahum 1:7 above.
• 1:4, 13 Contrary to some other verses, injustice prevails as the wicked overtake the righteous. SAB cites against this two passages from Proverbs -- see here -- and 1 Peter 3:13, a proverbial maxim.
• 1:6 God is getting the Chaldeans (Babylonians) to do his dirty work and devastate Israel. Actually the verse says, "I raise up the Chaldeans..." The word "raise up" has a broad meaning that includes strengthen, ordain, abide, or help. It doesn't indicate that the Chaldeans had no choice but to go. Hence:
• 2:4 Still needs lessons in proverbial sayings.
• 2:8 God will strike down the Chaldeans (Babylonians) for attacking Israel. But, in verse 1:6, God raised them up to do just that! ...this complaint in pointless.
• 2:15 Bit on alcohol, but I can't see why.
• 2:16 Listen to the pure word of God: "Drink thou also and let thy foreskin be uncovered." Listen to SAB the prude who thinks Victorian ideas of "purity" were in mind. See here.
• 3:3 This verse says God comes from Taman, but other verses say God dwells elsewhere. Oh. SAB doesn't "get" the figurative picture of God leading the armies from Taman.
• 3:3-5 Habakkuk sees God, contrary to several Bible verses claiming that no one has seen God. See here.
• 3:4 God has "horns coming out of his hand." But Jn.4:24 says that "God is a spirit" and Lk.4:24 says that "a spirit has not flesh and bones." If so, then how could God have a hand -- with or without horns. Same as above. Like certain Mormons I know, SAB doesn't get the idea of apocayptic manifestations.
• 3:5 "Before him [God] went the pestilence, and burning coals at his feet." Yes, and of course, everyone afflicted was just minding their own business.
• 3:11 "The sun and moon stood still in their habitation." This verse apparently refers to Joshua 10:12-13, where God makes the sun stand still. Of course, this could only be possible if the sun moves around the earth. Of course, so it would be also if we really meant what we said when we said "sunset" and "sunrise"....
• 3:13-14 Habakkuk sings the praises of God's slaughter of his enemies. All of whom were just eating candy when God killed them. Mere "argument by outrage" again.