The Skeptics' Overrated Bible on Psalms

as analyzed by Sheila Rangslinger

Items where SAB simply objects with prejudice to miracles are designated MIR. Mere arguments by outrage are designated OUTR.

2:8-9 God will hit heathens with a rod of iron and "dash them in pieces." OUTR.
5:5-6 This psalm says that fools "shall not stand in thy sight." But foolishness is highly recommended by Paul in the New Testament. SAB decontextualizes by posting Paul's 1 Cor. comment against rhetorical prowess.
5:5 Christians often say that one should love the sinner but hate the sin. Perhaps, but God hates sinners. Hate (guffaw) to tell SAB this, but the Hebrew word only means that God is in opposition to sinners. It's not personal hate.
6:5 Dead people, contrary to many Bible verses, neither remember God nor give him thanks. See here.
8:3 God made the heavens with his fingers. MIR plus inability to grasp figures of speech.
9:11 Does God dwell in Zion as this verse says, or in the heavens as is said in Ps.123:1? See here.
10:1 This verse says that God hides from the ones who need his help. But other Psalms (46:1 and 145:1) say that he is always ready to help in times of trouble. SAB still doesn't get proverbial lit.
11:4 God has eyelids. See 8:3.
11:6 God will rain fire and brimstone on "wicked" folks. OUTR.
12:6 "The words of the LORD are pure words." Prudish SAB places this against passages his prudery finds offensive. See here.
14:1 Atheists are fools who never do anything good. According to Jesus (Mt.5:22), the psalmist is in danger of hell for uttering the word fool. See here.
14:2-3 Has a righteous person ever lived? See here.
18:7 The earth shakes whenever God really gets mad. See 8:3.
18:8 Smoke comes out of God's nose and fire comes out of his mouth. Ditto.
18:9 God's feet. Ditto.
18:10 God rides upon cherubs and can fly. Ditto. Does SAB even know the Psalms are poems???
18:11 Does God dwell in darkness or in light? See here.
18:15 "The foundations of the world were discovered ... at the blast of the breath of thy nostrils." Apparently, then, the earth is set on firm foundations and does not move -- and God has nostrils. See here.
18:34 The God of peace teaches us how to kill our neighbors in war. SAB thinks shalom means "no war" but it actually means that things are put where they should be -- which sometimes requires war. Ask Iraq.
18:41 God sometimes refuses to answer those who cry out to him, contrary to Pr.8:7 and the teaching of Jesus in Mt.7:8. For Proverbs, see here. On Matthew see here.
19:6 The sun moves around the earth. See above.
21:9-10 If God doesn't like you, he will burn you to death. OUTR.
22:1 Does God always hear our prayers? See link on 18:41.
22:21 God saves the author of this psalm "from the horns of the unicorns." He is a lucky guy -- those unicorns are vicious beasts. Even Isaac Asimov knew this was the aurochs, not a unicorn.
25:8 "Good and upright is the Lord." Then why is the Bible so full of cruelties either committed or commanded by God. Vague generalization -- as if SAB had already shown such things to involve injustice.
29:6 God makes Lebanon and Sirion "like a young unicorn." See above.
30:5 This verse says that God's anger lasts for just a moment. But Num.32:13 and Jer.17:4 say that his anger can last a very long time. Gee, too bad SAB doesn't notice that Ps. is talking about personal sin versus national sin.
33:8 Should we fear God? See here.
34:10 Those "that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing." So those who are poor or hungry just aren't seeking God enough. No, it says they won't "want". Not the same thing. Plus:
34:21 In several places the Bible says that the wicked live long and prosper, yet her we are told that they will be made desolate. See here.
35:6, 8 A sweet prayer for the destruction of one's enemies. OUTR. If SAB lived in the ancient world when enemies constantly threatened your life maybe he'd have gotten a clue.
37:11 "The meek shall inherit the earth." Will they really? In nature they inherit nothing, but die painful deaths from disease, starvation, and predation. Give it time.
35:16 JW issue. We pass.
37:21 Stealing is condemned in this verse. But elsewhere God tells the Israelites to steal. Once again SAB thinks slavery reparations, asked for by the Israelites, is "stealing".
37:25 According to this verse, wealth is a sign of righteousness. But this is contradicted in Luke (6:24) and James (5:1). Still doesn't grasp proverbial lit (see link above).
37:29 JW issue. We pass.
38:5, 7 The author of this psalm allegedly is David. If so, then it's not surprising that his "loins" would be "filled with a loathsome disease." After all, his promiscuity was legendary, and he probably didn't practice safe sex. Pointless comment by SAB, who apparently gets jollies out of such comments.
40:6 Misquoted in Heb.10:5-6. More like, quoted either from the LXX, a known textual variation, or within accepted exegetical practice for first-century Judaism. SAB wouldn't know either way.
41:1 "Blessed is he that considereth the poor." He likes it.
44:2 The Psalmist praises God for driving out and afflicting "the heathen" with his own hand. OUTR.
44:21 God "knoweth the secrets of the heart." Then why did he have to test people to see what was in their hearts? See here.
44:23 "Awake, why sleepest thou, O Lord?" But according to Ps.121:4 God never sleeps. See here.
46:1 Is God "a very present help in times of trouble?" **
50:13 Does God desire bloody sacrifices? This verse implies that he doesn't. Why then did he give such detailed instructions for them in the first nine chapters of Leviticus? It actually implies rather that God does not "eat" such things. That's the very word used.
50:22 If you forget God, he will tear you into pieces. OUTR.
51:5 "In sin did my mother conceive me." God considers both women and sex to be sinful. Not quite. See here.
51:16 If God "delightest not in burnt offerings", then why did he give detailed instructions for making burnt offerings in the first nine chapters of Leviticus? See here.
52:5-7 If you don't trust in God, he'll kill you and while you're dying the "righteous" will laugh at you. OUTR.
53:1 This psalm repeats Psalm 14 which says that all atheists are fools who never do anything good. According to Jesus (Mt.5:22), the psalmist is in danger of hell for uttering the word fool. See above.
53:3 Her we are told that there never has been a single righteous person. Yet in other places, the Bible clearly says that such people have existed. See here.
55:15 How should we treat our enemies? SAB still can't distinguish personal treatment and justice.
55:23 This verse says that the wicked die young. But Job ( 21:7) complains that they live to a ripe old age. See above link on proverbial lit.
58:3 Wicked people are wicked from birth -- God made them that way. They tell lies immediately after birth (before they can even talk!). See on 51:5.
58:6-10 The psalmist devoutly prays: "Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth, ... let them be cut in pieces." He says that "the righteous" will rejoice when he sees "the wicked" being dismembered by God. He'll even get a chance to "wash his feet in the blood of the wicked." Now that's entertainment! Once again, if SAB lived in terror in the ancient world, he might get a grip on this.
58:8 According to the psalmist, snails melt. But they don't, of course, they simply leave a slimy trail as they move along. See here.
59:5 The psalmist asks God to kill all "the heathen" and not show them any mercy. OUTR.
59:6-7 They [the heathen] make a noise like a dog .... Behold, they belch out with their mouths." These are good reasons for God to kill them. And where is this cause and effect stated?
59:8 God will laugh at the heathen as he kills them. OUTR.
59:13 "Consume them in thy wrath, consume them ..." -- more sweet prayers to a savage god. OUTR yet again. As if these people were just playing tiddywinks when they got judged.
62:12 This verse says that God judges people according to their works, which contradicts the teachings of Paul. See here -- as elsewhere SAB does not know the relationship between faith and works.
63:2 The psalmist claims to have seen God. But elsewhere the Bible says that no one has seen God. See here.
63:11 "Every one that sweareth by him shall glory." But Jesus condemns swearing in Mt.5:34. See here.
68:21, 23 God will "wound the head of his enemies" so that the righteous can dip their feet in blood. And the dogs will lick the blood of God's enemies. OUTR. SAB is just too wimpy to withstand ancient "trash talk".
69:22-28 The psalmist prays that his enemies be tormented and blinded by God. He asks God to "make their loins continually to shake." OUTR.
73:3, 7, 12 These verses speak of the "prosperity of the wicked." Yet Ps.34:21 says that the wicked shall be made desolate. See above on proverbial lit.
74:13 God is so strong that he can even break the head of dragons. The word refers to any large sea creature.
75:3 God holds the earth up with pillars. See above.
76:2 Does God dwell in Zion as this verse says, or in the heavens as is said in Ps.123:17? See above.
78:2-3 Misquoted in Mt.13:35. See above on previous misquote charge.
78:66 "And he [God] smote his enemies in the hinder parts." (He kicked their *ss.) That's right. OUTR.
78:69 Will the earth last forever? See here.
79:5-6 The psalmist asks God to pour out his wrath on somebody else for a change. Why not torment some "heathens that have not known thee?" OUTR.
79:6 A prayer for God to kill those who don't know him. OUTR.
82:1, 3 "He judgeth among the gods." So he's not alone up there. But this contradicts many monotheistic Bible verses. See here.
82:6 "I have said, Ye are gods." Jesus quotes this verse in John 10:34 to get out of a tough spot. (He was claiming to be God for which the Jews accused him of blasphemy.) And the porblem is, what?
83:9-18 The psalmist asks God to " do unto them as unto the Midianites ... which became as dung for the earth." And the problem is, what? Is SAB too prudish to use the word "dung"?
86:2 Rev.15:4 says that only God is holy. But the psalmist (David?) thinks that he is holy too. Apparently SAB doesn't recognize the genre of hyperbolic praise.
86:5 Is God merciful? Yes. But SAB thinks mercy excludes justice.
89:3-4, 34-37 "I have sworn unto David my servant, Thy seed will I establish for ever, and build up thy throne to all generations." But the Davidic line of Kings ended with Zedekiah; there were none during the Babylonian captivity, and there are none today. Other than Jesus.
90:10 How long is the human lifespan? See here.
92:10 The psalmist has a horn that he'd like God to erect -- "like the horn of a unicorn." Try "aurochs" as even Asimov knew.
92:12 Will the righteous flourish as this verse claims, or perish as is said in Is.57:1? See here.
93:1 According to the Bible, Galileo was wrong; the earth does not move. See above.
96:4, 97:7 These verses clearly say that there are many gods. Elsewhere, of course, the Bible claims that there is only one god. But should we fear him? See above for both.
96:10 According to the bible, the earth does not move. It doesn't revolve on its axis or orbit the sun. See above.
97:2 "Clouds and darkness are round about him." But how can this be if 1 Tim.6:15-16 is correct in saying that he dwells in light? See here.
100:5 This verse claims that God is merciful, Yet the Bible is full of cruelties either committed or commanded by God. See above.
102:25-26 These verses says that the earth will perish, but elsewhere the Bible says that it will last forever. See above.
103:8 "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy." Is this the same guy who demanded that peoples' heads be hung up before him to appease his fierce anger (Num.25:4), and who ordered the slaughter of thousands of innocent men, women, children (1 Sam.15:2-3)? See above plus here.
104:5 God set the earth on firm foundations "that it should not be moved for ever." So, according to the Bible, the earth is stationary and does not orbit the sun. But will it last forever? See above.
104:15 Is drinking permitted? See here.
104:21 God gives the lions their meat. The cruelty and brutality of nature is all part of God's plan. See here.
105:29-36 The psalmist recounts God's treatment of the Egyptians: "He smote the firstborn in their land." See Ex.12:29-30 for the gory details. OUTR.
106:1 "Good and upright is the Lord." Then why is the Bible so full of cruelties either committed or commanded by God. OUTR.
106:11-19 God is praised for the creative ways that he kills people: by drowning, earth-swallowing, and burning. OUTR.
106:39 God is offended by those who make things with their hands or invent things with their minds. Which to SAB must be wrong assuming God is non-existent.
107:1 "Good and upright is the Lord." Then why is the Bible so full of cruelties either committed or commanded by God. Still OUTR.
109:6-14 The psalmist asks God to do all sorts of unpleasant things to his enemies. "Set thou a wicked man over him; and let Satan stand at his right hand .... Let his prayer become sin." He asks God to take away his possessions, kill him, and have his children suffer for the sins of their fathers. OUTR.
110:6 God will "fill the places with dead bodies." OUTR.
112:1,3 According to this verse, wealth is a sign of righteousness. But this is contradicted in Luke (6:24) and James (5:1). See above.
115:13 Should we fear God? See here.
118:1 "Good and upright is the Lord." Then why is the Bible so full of cruelties either committed or commanded by God. OUTR still.
119:69-70 Proud people have hearts that are "fat as grease." Yes, and, the problem is what?
119:140 "Thy word is very pure." And, what?
119:151-2, 160 Do Christians need to follow Old Testament laws? See here.
121:3-4 These verses say that God never sleeps, but Ps.44:23 says that he does. See above.
121:5-6 "The LORD is thy keeper.... The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night." So believers don't have to bother with sunscreen. God will protect them from sunburn, and moonburn too. SAB doesn't know that stellar symbols represent government. Think of Japan's Rising Sun flag.
123:1 Where does God live? In the heavens or in Zion? See above.
128:1 Should we fear God? See above.
135:8, 136:10 God is praised for slaughtering little babies. OUTR. SAB needs to know the ancient context in which enemies in future generations ALWAYS rose back up against you.
136:1 "Good and upright is the Lord." Then why is the Bible so full of cruelties either committed or commanded by God. OUTR for the billionth time.
136:2 This verse calls the God of the bible a "God of gods." So there must be more than one god. But in many other places the bible insists there is only one God. See above.
136:4 This verse says that only God can perform great wonders. But 2 Th.2:9 says that Satan can too. See here.
136:10 "To him that smote Egypt in their first born: for his mercy endures forever." Go figure. Go OUTR by decontextualizing.
136:15 God "overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red sea: for his mercy endureth for ever." Ditto/see above.
136:17-18 God "smote great kings: for his mercy endureth for ever." Ditto.
137:9 Happiness is smashing your little children against the rocks. See above.
138:6 This verse says that God respects the lowly. Yet many Bible verses claim that God respects no one. See here.
139:2-3, 7 According to these verses, God knows and sees everything. But several other verses deny this. See here.
139:8 God is in hell. Sorry for the KJV, but sheol is not "hell".
139:19-22 The psalmist excels at hating. He hates people with a "perfect hatred." OUTR.
140:10 A prayer that God will burn people to death. OUTR/see above.
144:1 The God of Peace teaches us to kill each other in war. See here.
145:8-9 These verses claim that God is "slow to anger, and of great mercy." Then why is the Bible so full of cruelties either committed or commanded by God. OUTR still.
145:9 "The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works." Then why do nearly all animals die painful deaths from starvation, predation, or disease long before they reach adulthood? See link above on predation.
145:16 This verse says that God satisfies the desires of all of his creatures. But in nature few needs are met and few desires are satisfied. Life is short, hard, cruel, and painful for nearly every living thing. Ditto. Poor SAB gets winded just pressing the remote button.
145:18 Does God hear all who call upon him? See 10:1 above.
147:11 Should we fear God? See above.
148:7 Even the dragons praise the Lord. See above.