As usual, view all of the nominated Screwballs on TheologyWeb.

From the Mailbag

It's been a while since we had a screwy email...we need more like this:

I just read the article on Marcus Borg and the issue with panentheism and here is what I have to say to whoever wrote this article. If you really had a relationship with God, you would not be wasting your time writing and article on the opinions and beliefs of Marcus Borg unless God told you to do so but I doubt he did!

Hmm. I wonder if God told him to write me that email...

The May 2011 John Loftus Collection

John, who says he wants more civil discussion, shows just how civil -- maybe it's a matter of degree?

Convert sinner. With odds like these what are the odds that Timothy McGrew and Lydia McGrew are standing on solid ground? Sheesh. Idiots.

And was pretty funny too. Especially these two comments by John:

I have consciously chosen not to criticize other atheists. That's not my responsibility. It gains the atheist community nothing when we criticize each other.

Christians police your own ranks!


This by John was fairly good too:

I Deleted My Facebook Account

I'll start another one before too long but unless I personally know you I will not be your friend. Them's the rules. I need a safe place to be myself. Create a fan page if you want but I'm done with anything else. I'm tired of people asking me questions and feeling as if I must respond. You did it to yourselves.

A "safe place to be myself"? A liar, a dissembler, and a dodgeball artist, in other words?

And, one for one of John's readers:

A customer of the bookstore I work at complained today that our atheism section is too small. I suggested that it's small because few people care to read self-righteous atheist screeds. He argued it should be bigger because Loftus' works "set him free" from religion.

The Atheist Collection

Psychic Missile opines:

If conservatives are so incensed when a group with similar ideals is called racist then they're in the wrong party.

Christopher31 opines:

I don't want to derail the topic too much, but I really don't see how sacrifice is noble (in most cases). Jesus, being God and man, allowed himself to be killed. In that sense, he was the original Jack Kevorkian. He purposed himself to a killing he could otherwise have avoided by flexing his omnipotence a tad. That he didn't do that doesn't make what he did a "sacrifice" but a suicide. I can't really respect a "sacrifice" that is a veiled suicide.

Facebook user Curtis X-rates a rant:

The church of today is the masturbator's religion, Sunday service is the porn by which they get off- and it's quite true, replace the words 'whore and slut' with sinner, and place a little 'but he didn't f*** me for my crimes..., but I deserved it, I deserve it right now and without Jesus I'd be getting it right now, Jesus is what keeps God from raping me with justice'' and you've just paraphrase most alter calls.

Trust me, how porn portrays women as objects of amuse, discardable recepticles for me men, Church does to humans, it spectacularises intimacy and love to make people feel energised, calls it the spirit, but where is the conversation, the convergence, the talk of moral responsiblity, ethics, actual exegesis- it may as well be a lit fart in the lobby, it's the only way people will pay attention. Evangelism is just rape with a condom on, and it's called how much scripture you can lacker on your message do your victim doesn't know what that you're asking the blow your insecure lode 'right into their heart' and then abandon them to a world of abusive fascist relationships ecclesial prositution and deer in the headlights capitalist living without any clarifying moment of 'huh, there's more to life than a dead book from which I ignore 99% of its words to conveniently genrefy my libidinous living.'

ProfMTH, on why he won't debate on TheologyWeb:

YouTube is where I chose to discuss these matters, not some obscure Christian website where Holding feels more comfortable. He wants to avoid having his shabby claims exposed.

YT user adrenacrumb is also short on answers:

Pointing out where you were arrogant, small-minded, and petty would be like pointing out where the water is in the Atlantic Ocean. I'm seriously starting to think you have real mental issues, you are about the only person on the planet who doesn't see how ridiculously over the top your videos are. Point out where you were arrogant and petty? Are you insane?

Rushing Jaws? Equally comprehensible:

Miracles are not the historian's business - they do not happen, and cannot happen, because gods are not historical. So if they happen, they do not happen within history.

To make them historical means that miracles by Isis or Baal or Marduk are at least as possible as any by JHWH or Jesus. Because history cannot adjudicate beyween different religions - it's not theology.

For that and related reasons, supernatural things may be alleged and the allegations recorded by the historian, but the allegedly supernatural is not his business; otherwise God would be historical, Jesus would have a diary, & the Holy Spirit a biography :( That in effect makes God into a god - it treats God as a pagan deity, which is monstrous.

YT troll DarkMatter2525 offers this convoluted sentiment:

if someone said that I was posing as an expert, while I clearly wasn't claiming expertise, I would think that they inadvertently exposed their impression of me as an expert, and that they're desperate to invalidate the things I say so that their stance can remain firm.

Paul Kurtz is jumping into his grave and spinning after this from YT atheist CMO999:

I already know that you can parrot. Can you form your own thoughts too? I know it's hard. Keep working at it. BTW, what is this Humanist Manifesto? Is there really such a thing?

When I told him to confirm that, he said:

No I've never heard of it. Must be required reading at retard school if it's that important to you.

YT idiot EdwardVonFishington, on the fringe...of coherence:

Well, this Mr. Holding is an interesting man. Comes across as being a tad arrogant and haughty. I had no idea that suggesting Jesus didn't exist put you into a 'fringe' element.

Brett "Dumbass" Palmer wins for stealing my cartoon character...using a copyrighted image he should have paid for, in a video...covering up the watermark that showed that he stole it...and then silently taking the video down after I called him on it.

Tassman: Short but stupid.

In history we are talking probabilities not logic.

Now we have a special anti-Camping collection of awards. Screwball to some twit on twitter with an incredibly two-dimensional idea of Christianity: "When moderate Christians call Doomsdayers crazy, it's not the Rapture they disagree with, it's just the date."

Clueless Stereotyping Award to YT user Justforfun20102010:

Hey, your we're still here. No rapture. Do you feel really dumb?

Also and and P. Z. Myers as well:

Sure, everyone is laughing at Harold Camping now, except his followers, who are undeterred. But you're missing the real joke. Look at every Abrahamic religion, with their myths of prophets and favored peoples and fate. Look at the crazy conservative church in your town, that preaches homophobia and anti-science and supports Israel because of the Armageddon prophecy. Look at the liberal Christian church down the street from you that has the nice Vacation Bible School and puts on happy plays for the older kids, and also teaches that one day you will stand before a great god and be judged. Look at your family members who blithely believe in death as a mini-apocalypse, in which they will be magically translated into another realm, again to be judged.

It's the very same rot, the poison of religion that twists minds away from reality and fastens them on hellish bogeymen.

little monkey continues his random rants:

I find it sadly ironic that Christianity teaches abstinence but Christians have more unsafe sex than those educated in the precautionary methods of safe sex, or that Christians profess the sanctity of marriage, yet Evangelical Christians have among the highest divorce rates in the U.S.Even more ironic still is the fact that the Catholic Church is thought of as the body of Christ, an extension of his love for us, and yet, child rape runs rampant throughout an obviously corrupted institution.I find it ironic that End of the World millennialists, like the recent Family Radio nutters, would cause their families so much grief and hardship for stupid beliefs which obviously proved false--yet other Christians ignore them entirely--saying they are fringe--and that they don't represent real Christianity. What compassion! What empathy!I find it ironic that Christianity is preached as a religion of love, yet never tires of informing you that you will burn in everlasting hellfire if you don't believe it too. I find it ironic that Christians will jump at the chance to talk with you about your differing beliefs, only to casually and impolitely slip in the fact that everything you believe is false, that they are right, and you are wrong. It's strange, if not just a little bit ironic, that Christians think the Bible is in anyway reliable, the very bedrock of their pious faith, yet don't follow 90% of what it teaches.I find it ironic that Christians think the Bible explains things in the natural world better than science, when in truth, that's such a distortion of reality as we know it that to believe such a thing is to prove oneself delusional.

The Christian and Theist Collection

Harold Camping. Special Platinum. That's enough said.

Eeset -- nutty as usual:

jg its actually biblical that Jesus had a visible aura although other words were used to describe it

Daniel Calvert earns an honor/shame fail:

"Have you not read...?" is actually a rhetorical question, seeing as they likely had read, and a particularly polite way to phrase a rebuttal without resorting to a shouting match of "fool!" and "idiot!". Jesus' point was that they had not understood, and he then explains what they did not understand, using scripture. Telling someone "You don't understand, you missed this something in scripture, and this is what it is" is only insulting to prideful persons, and quite different from revealing one's own prideful intellect by showing a favoritism for snarky descriptions of people.

ReligionFreeDeist wins for his efforts against me this past month -- including falling for the old "your real name is Turkel" gag.

Screwball to the Muslim scholars berating the US for burying Osama bin Laden at sea. Which raises a few questions they may not have thought about from a Western perspective, namely: For ten long years we've been told Osama was abusing Islam, and that Islam is a religion of peace. What, was Osama not evil enough to let something like this slide? At least they revealed something that we've known for a very long time: Osama, even in the eyes of Islamic scholars, is a consistent Muslim. Their reaction proves that beyond doubt.

rstrats demonstrates total reading comprehension:

re: “Rev 14:11...And the smoke of their torment will rise for ever...” Nothing said here about torment continuing for ever. -- hard to know who is srewier -- Perry, or her parents.

“I didn’t have a childhood,” she tells the magazine, adding that she was not allowed to say things like “deviled eggs” or “Dirt Devil,” to listen to secular music or read any other books but the Bible.

Platinum nomination to some people on Amazon who give low book review ratings because they never got the book in the mail from Amazon . . . which has nothing to do with the contents of the book itself. (for the judge, school, and town) -- At Large Platinum. -- Dawkins, Famous Atheist Platinum nomination.